You Give Mustaches A Bad Name: Politics and History

The majority of mustache's throughout history have been symbols of pride. However, few mustaches are an embarrassment to the Mustache Community! Here I point out a few foes that have marred the fair name of Mustache.

Communist Mustachefesto
The Mustache is a clear badge of freedom, artistic expression to show the world you are a non-conformist with your facial hair! These men, however, are not lovers of freedom but are lovers of the mustache:

Vladmir Lenin
Notice this Marxist clings to his mustache hair after losing his youthful head hair. Even his eyebrows seem spotty. He later complements his full mustache with a beard as he ages which somewhat downplays the "evil" stereotype of the mustache. Churchill once said of Lenin, "He alone could have found the way back to the causeway...The Russian people were left floundering in the bog. Their worst misfortune was his birth...their next worst his death." I am astounded he forget to mention the misfortune of what he did to the mustache establishment. Even worse is his partners in crime...

Josef Stalin

This rapscallion donned a mustache his entire life, from young radical to cold hearted, calculating dictator. His mustache was used to hide his pock marks from acne in his youth, which my friends, his a great disguise for a rugged a face. His chronic mustache throughout history has been a plague to mustache wearers & it would really suit us if let's say one of our more tech savvy brother's in arms could perhaps photoshop a nude-lipped version of this mass murderer and replaced the pictures. A large task? Perhaps, but I believe it would do us well with the ladies in the long run.

Fidel Castro

This crazy Cuban typically wears an unruly beard to accompany his lazy mustache. That does not, however, stem his attempts at ruining the fine reputation the mustache earned throughout the nineteenth century. Marxist scamps such as Castro & his miscreant brother Raul - who also garnishes a pathetic patchy mustache - have single handedly taken turned what was once class into crass.




Dictators

Nobody likes a Fascist. Somewhere in fascist, lies the word face. And on your face is a mustache.

Adolph Hitler

Fortunately for defenders of the hairy upper lip, this unsightly trim resembles that of a accident of a slop who can't wipe their dirty face. Who would ever grow a mustache such as this, other than Charlie Chaplin, who I almost mentioned the in Communist section as he was a pinko and left on the Hollywood blacklist! Good riddance to that homely mustache! One would think an aspiring artist such as Fuhrer Hitler would have the sensibilities to abandon such an unfashionable facial styling, then again, he failed as a starving artist - and we mustache wearers know why!



Saddam Huessein

Ugh. I just do not have the energy for this Kurd murdering scamp.