Ladies Behold!

It has come to my attention that Monti's conspired slaughter of mine very existence is due to the false notion that mustaches are unattractive to the ladies. Here are Hollywood hearthrobs in which the ladies swoon...

Witness Orlando Bloom blossom from mere boy with naked upper lip into full manhood with mustache. A far better selection than his adolescent appeal that only Michael Jackson would be attracted to! Now women can smell the testosterone on this manly man!

Women don't want elves. They want pirates.





Johnny Depp is a man who can be seen with a mustache far more often than without. Perhaps this is because he knows that it is more potent than the richest love potion.









An antiquated example of a ladies man with only the finest accessory known to man? I think not! History repeats itself, and Clark Gable proudly sported the mustache as well as attracted the dames of his time.








Hollywood: the mustache is for only the best looking gentleman. A trend I have adhered to.