Tuesday, March 10, 2009

The female mustache

I would now like to state my opinion on the female mustache. Hideous! Outrageous! Indecent! Never should a female attempt the glory that is the mustache. I now shall state my reasons:
1. A mustache in it's full splendor is rich and thick, which is a feature only grown by men. A female mustache is typically spotty, uneven, and shocks the sight. 
2. The female looks grotesque and will have difficulties attracting a mate. 
3. It is against the general societal rules and is displeasing to all, especially the mustache community, which spends thousands of dollars lobbying every year to politicians. We are offended by these actions as these are not real mustaches, these are phonies, and it has to be stopped. 

I believe I have made my general outrage clear. If you are a gentlewoman suffering from an upper lip shadow, please consider many of the fine waxing and bleaching products available at your nearest corner drugstore. 

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