Seinfeld: Bigoted Against Mustache!

Seinfeld, you are on my hit list!

Simon Cowell drew a mustache on Paula Abdul's face. I must say, it was almost an improvement.

Mustache Mockery!

How gauche! Seth MacFarland, you are a filthy bare-lipped tragic commoner! Perhaps if you'd indulged in the fine art of the mustache you wouldn't create such drivel.

What's this? I see a chest beard! Reminiscent of a man who himself would have a fine pornography library! Pot. Kettle. Black. Or in my world, Beard. Mustache. Hairy.